And so, i watch another rediculously amazing friend walk off into the sunset with his fiancee. Don't get me wrong - I'm absurdly happy that they will be together after everything that they have gone through. However, there were a few weeks where I wanted her to stop existing so that I could have Him.
"But why?!" You ask.
Because at 2 AM when I got out of work, he is an intelligent and funny bar buddy. Because there were things he knew and wanted to teach me - just because he could and I wanted to learn. Because for once, all my weird habits and quirks were shared or at least appreciated. Because he loved food.
Because he wasn't a chef.
For once I could have a conversation that didn't end up as a shot-slamming competition or a one-upping match involving blood, sharp objects, violence, or debauchery. I could behave like a woman (!) and still be considered an equal without having to spit further or cuss louder in order to get noticed.
It felt better and was more theraputic for me after my divorce than any antidepressant regimen could have been.
B, I know you are reading this. Good Luck to the two of you. I wish you all the luck and love I have to give.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Saturday, April 26, 2008
By the Way..........
Came across a really cool company today. http://www.medicatedclothing.com This chick has great shirts!! All you readers from the CA blog, I mean it..... check this out.
2 Weeks Left at Iona......
10 days. 100 hours (approximately). I am so close I can taste it.
Not that I don't like Iona. I've met some really interesting people there - people that I hope stay in touch and continue to share their lives with me. However, I've also met people I could definitely live without; I am doing my best to remind myself about learning from mistakes and "no light without dark" etc. but it doesn't change the fact that I have thought about my professional knives as assassin's tools more in the past 8 weeks than I have, ever, in the past.
On a lighter note:
Bought my camera today. Wimped out and bought the same model I left with my ex (the wedding present from his mom's crazy stalker former boyfriend). At least I won't have to learn a whole new camera. Plus it was pretty cheap (www.broadwayphoto.com - I'll let you know how it arrives and if I have any trouble with the company). Meaning I have more money to spend on things I need more. Like Jack Daniels to survive the 100 Hours.
My French still sucks. But it sucks less than it did 2 weeks ago. Hooray for Rosetta Stone. And the hour I have had to use it thus far. My French tutor has had more important things to do - like teach me to swing dance, discuss politics over very expensive rum, and drive me home from New Paltz after I got angry and drank too much at la Stagione the other night (at least I feel like I have closure now. And I did get all my stuffed animals back from my old apartment).
Today is a good day. A little windy and grey but I am not at work, I thus far have avoided getting dragged into doing work from home, and I have no plans other than going out with my friends tonight. I am wild and crazy and free - and going to take a nap.
Sante.
Not that I don't like Iona. I've met some really interesting people there - people that I hope stay in touch and continue to share their lives with me. However, I've also met people I could definitely live without; I am doing my best to remind myself about learning from mistakes and "no light without dark" etc. but it doesn't change the fact that I have thought about my professional knives as assassin's tools more in the past 8 weeks than I have, ever, in the past.
On a lighter note:
Bought my camera today. Wimped out and bought the same model I left with my ex (the wedding present from his mom's crazy stalker former boyfriend). At least I won't have to learn a whole new camera. Plus it was pretty cheap (www.broadwayphoto.com - I'll let you know how it arrives and if I have any trouble with the company). Meaning I have more money to spend on things I need more. Like Jack Daniels to survive the 100 Hours.
My French still sucks. But it sucks less than it did 2 weeks ago. Hooray for Rosetta Stone. And the hour I have had to use it thus far. My French tutor has had more important things to do - like teach me to swing dance, discuss politics over very expensive rum, and drive me home from New Paltz after I got angry and drank too much at la Stagione the other night (at least I feel like I have closure now. And I did get all my stuffed animals back from my old apartment).
Today is a good day. A little windy and grey but I am not at work, I thus far have avoided getting dragged into doing work from home, and I have no plans other than going out with my friends tonight. I am wild and crazy and free - and going to take a nap.
Sante.
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